How to develop self belief

How to develop self belief

Most people would probably agree that self-belief is a key factor in determining your quality of life. The higher your level of self-belief, the more relaxed you can be and the more enjoyable life becomes. If you believe totally in your self, others are more likely to believe in you too.

Those with anxiety, depression or self esteem issues normally have overriding negative beliefs about themselves such as “I am a failure”, “There is something wrong with me” or “I am not good enough”. These negative beliefs are usually born in early childhood, and as they are toxic for confidence they can end up being self fulfilling.

The key to understanding how to change these beliefs is to understand that they are normally stored deep at the unconscious level.  This is why it seems there is nothing we can do about it.

The first step to developing self belief is to loosen the grip these type of negative beliefs may hold over you. At the retreat we sometimes use coaching techniques to help our guests to start the process of uprooting these beliefs so they can replace them with more empowering views on themselves. In this article we share with you three techniques that you can try on yourself. At the retreat we also use stronger, more powerful techniques for obliterating negative emotions and beliefs for those who want to take things to the next level.

The first technique is aimed at helping to break through negative blocks. It is very simple, just go ahead and consider the following questions one at a time in sequence (this works best if you do not read the next question until you have fully considered the question before it). This can work even better if you can ask a friend to take you through these questions one by one:

1) what is the problem?
2) what is it not?
3) how do you know what it is not?
4) what were you pretending not to know in order to have thought that you had the problem?

The second exercise is similar and works even better for some people. Consider the following questions in sequence once again:

1) what is the problem?
2) how do you know it’s a problem?
3) when did you decide that?
4) when don’t you do it now?
5) what are you deciding then?
6) how is it different from how you were?
7) how do you know that now?
8) what other changes would you like to make?

This final exercise can be used to loosen up beliefs – don’t worry if you get confused, that is the purpose! You can then start to make more positive connections and associations in our neurology instead.

Ask the following in sequence to a belief (we give below an example for how this would work for the belief “I am a failure”):

1) what would happen if this was true (eg “what would happen if I was a failure”)?
2) what wouldn’t happen if this was true (eg “what would not happen if I was a failure”)?
3) what would happen if it wasn’t true (eg “what would happen if I was not a failure”)?
4) what wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t true (eg “what would not happen if I wasn’t a failure”)?

We always love to hear back from the La Crisalida community, so let us know how you got on with these exercises and let us know which is your favourite.  Of course if you wanted to take things to the next level you will always get a very warm welcome by coming to visit us here at the retreat in Spain. All the very best.

About the author

John is one of the founders of La Crisalida Retreats. He is a life and success coach, Transformational Coach and a master trainer in NLP. He leads our life makeover programme as well as overseeing the retreats.